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A Few Handy Tips on How to Save a Failing Marriage
We are all accustomed to hearing those hushed whispers about other couples that their 'marriage is on the rocks? and you snuggle closer at the hint of a spicy gossip session, but have you ever really wondered how to save a failing marriage, because the next victim might be yourself!
Give your spouse space and individuality
It is good that you love your spouse, but is there any need to constantly cling to your partner, smother him/her with overwhelming affection and make your spouse feel claustrophobic? Come on, your spouse is as much a human being as you are and he/she needs some amount of space for independent growth and fulfillment.
Other wise his/her individuality will feel suffocated and he/she will be resenting you for this. Just as you shouldn't bend yourself backwards and be too pliable, similarly you should learn how to adjust and when to let go and when to pull in the reigns.
You should allow your spouse to develop or maintain his/her own identity instead of being trapped in the roles of mother or wife or caregiver. When you think of the long term happiness of your married life, you should allow room for personal development and spend a few nice moments away from each other. After all, you know that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Save a failing marriage by keeping communication lines open
I know it is difficult and at times difficult to talk to your spouse after a particularly nasty fight, but in spite of that, you should try to gulp down your ego and try to make amends and break the ice. Most marriages start breaking down when the partners stop sharing their thoughts.
These bottled up feelings, disappointments, unfulfilled expectations, pain, criticism, angry words coupled with your love for your spouse often snowball into a deep feeling of hurt that can lead to a serious communication gap and usually a fearful coldness ensues that drives a wedge between the two partners. Therefore, it is for the good health of your married life that you have to remain friends and talk to each other and share your feelings without flying off the handle.
Constructive fighting
When two separate individuals start to live together under one roof, disagreements and fights and conflicts are bound to happen. But instead of flying at each others? throats and baying for your spouse's blood, it would be more practical if you would fight constructively and desist from playing that same old blame game.
Criticize your partner's unjust behavior instead of calling her worthless and irritating. The spouse at the receiving end of your wrath will only shrivel up inwardly and become more defensive. The result will be that your spouse will take up the fight as a challenge and ultimately the whole argument will boil down to proving ?I am right and you are wrong?.
The other things that you need to do to save a failing marriage is to care for each other's feelings and respect his/her secrets, share the burden of children, domestic chores, finances and most importantly, keep alive and infuse a vivacity in your sex life and let your love life blossom.
Meredith Glee have written several marriage articles on how to save a failing marriage and help with other related marriage problems.
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